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Creating a kind and loving relationship with yourself

Being honest, I haven’t always been kind and loving to myself. There have been times where I have been extremely tough on myself and have spoken unkindly. I have acted in ways that I knew would create drama and messy in my life, yet I still chose that. Reflecting on my life I can see clearly why I chose what I did, what it created and the gifts that came from it.


Everything we do and choose is driven from our internal programming. The beliefs and values that have been instilled in us. This creates our perception of ourselves and then how we interact with others. I’m sure there is also past life experiences and this life learnings thrown in for good measure. Just to keep it interesting.

There is no escaping ourselves. We live with ourselves 24/7. No matter where we go, what we change or don’t change, we will always have ourselves.


What kind of relationship are you having with yourself?

What kind of relationship do you want with you?

Have you even thought about it?

Maybe it’s time to?


The relationship we have with ourself is reflected in our world. Is it time to make some changes? Is it time for some self reflection? Is it time to change your stories?

When we have been thinking, feeling and acting a certain way our whole life it can be difficult to start making changes. It is possible, it does take time and it takes complete honesty with yourself. It may feel uncomfortable and that is ok. It gets easier.


Where do you start?

Here are some strategies you can start with:


Acknowledgement - you know it’s time to have a better relationship with yourself. It’s time for you to start making those changes. One step at a time.

Who am I? - Look within. Take time out for you to explore and rediscover you.


What do you love about myself?

What ate you good at?

How would you like to treat yourself?


Take time out for you - go do something that interests you.


What is nurturing for you? It could be time in nature, having a sleep in or reading a book. Take the time to enjoy being you.

Set clear boundaries - the more you learn to be kind and loving to yourself the clearer your boundaries will become.

What boundaries do you currently have or don’t have?

What areas of your life do you need to become clear about in regards to boundaries with yourself and others?


Journaling- I love journal writing. It helps me get out of my head and into my heart space. It can create clarity and clear direction on what is next. Get yourself and journal and just start writing. See what shows up.

Get yourself a professional mentor/counsellor - sometimes having a third party who doesn’t know you can assist you in identifying areas of change. Seek out help if you need it.


The words we use - the words we use when we speak to ourself can create a kind or unkind relationship with ourself.

Pay attention to the words you use to describe yourself.

What are you really saying to yourself? Our words reaffirm to us what we really think about ourselves. It’s time to change and speak lovingly to ourselves.

Make yourself a priority to build and create a loving and kind relationship with you.

With Love and Gratitude


Jacq xx


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